I want to talk about American women, specifically American white women. They get bashed a lot in the manosphere, and I think a lot of it is deserved. They form the backbone of the current psychotic and schizophrenic wing of feminism that celebrates sluttiness, but still considers consensual sex with men to be rape. These feminists celebrate obesity like it’s a healthy choice and criticize any woman who dares stay in shape or makes herself pretty for men.
I don’t think I need to link to any manosphere posts bashing American women. There are lots of them out there, many even recommending men go abroad to find foreign women. Well, I want to defend American white women, at least a subset of them. Yes, they are the bulk of the feminists. But don’t forget that women of color and foreign women can be insane feminists too. Just look at Pussy Riot or the Femen. Or the ethnic studies departments of any university which are full of foreign, feminist/socialist women. On the other hand, some of the highest quality women I know are white American women.
But first I want to talk about my own history with women, both white and Asian.
I am Asian. I had a very sheltered homelife up until I went to college. From the outside, it seemed like I was one of the popular kids. I wasn’t a geek, and I actually played in all the major high school sports. But the truth was my parents weren’t very social. They speak terrible English and we didn’t socialize with any of the other local families. I had no knowledge of American manners or customs within the home. To give you an example, the custom of passing plates around during dinner was foreign to me. We always ate like typical Asians – family style. Needless to say I wasn’t allowed to date at all.
When I traveled from Michigan to North Carolina for college, it was a huge transition. I had no idea how to socialize outside of a high school setting so I ended up only making friends with other Asians. One contributing factor might have been the fact that I had no other Asians in my high school. That was a big change, just seeing groups of other Asians who weren’t my family. It was exciting to me. I had always been attracted to Asian girls, but had never been around so many before.
So the first couple of years in college, all my friends were other Asians and I only dated (and slept with) Asian girls. Then my sophomore year I met and fell in love (at least I thought it was love) for the first time. Her name was Meagan.
Long story short, I dated Meagan for most of my sophomore year but we broke up. That breakup and what happened next devastated me. After we broke up, she hooked up with and ended up dating a white guy. For some reason, this exploded my world and sent me spiraling into depression. I took her virginity and I thought she would belong to me forever. I just couldn’t handle it.
I was having trouble dating again. In addition to my lingering depression about Meagan, which didn’t help, I couldn’t muster up any kind of motivation to get back out there to date. Plus, I was growing. I’d always been really tall. I was a little over 6 feet when I entered college but by the end of sophomore year I was pushing 6’4″. Not a skinny 6’4″ either, but a thick muscular 6’4″, 220lbs. Most of the Asian girls around were barely 5’4″ tops and really skinny. I looked like a freak of nature standing next to them. I’m pretty sure the Asian girls thought I was scary looking.
That summer after sophomore year I decided to expand my dating options and I started pursuing white girls. And to make a very long story short, I’ve never looked back. I’ve dated white women exclusively since then for personal reasons. I still think Asian women are terrific – they’re beautiful and exotic looking. They can be wonderful people too. For me, culturally and to a lesser extent physically white women are more compatible. Plus they seem to like me better than any other ethnicity. I would expound on this but this tangent has gone on long enough.
After I converted from atheism to Christianity, I got to meet some of the most traditional, personally conservative women I know, the kind of woman that the manosphere tells you is worth committing to. Some examples:
- One young woman was living in a house with 3 other single people, 2 guys and another girl. She developed a huge crush one of the guys. There was a lot of flirting going on between them and she was developing strong feelings for him. What did she do? She moved out of the house. She was testing him and it was her way of saying to him “your move…do something meaningful to advance the relationship,” while maintaining her chastity. The guy failed. He didn’t pursue her and ended up dating another girl. She made the right choice. Btw – she was and still is a virgin, and she’s under 25.
- Another woman was a recent graduate of UC Berkeley. She was also a virgin, but she felt that she was exposed to so much party/secular culture in college that she wasn’t ready for marriage. She put off dating and spent every day talking to her priest to get her ready for marriage. She spent 2 whole years in her own pre-marriage bootcamp with her priest, saying no to any guy who asked her out. When she was ready, she opened herself up to dating again and eventually married a guy. That guy put a ring on her hand, a hand that had never touched another man sexually, and he kissed her on the lips, lips that had never been anywhere close to another man’s penis. She is now a stay at home mom, happily homeschooling their two kids.
- One woman was on the cheerleading squad at a major Big 10 college. She looks like your typical serial monogamous American woman. Her facebook page has pictures from sorority parties she’s attended. She’s beautiful and she dresses extremely well, but whoever marries her will marry a virgin. Not a “technical virgin” but an actual, chaste woman.
- There are a group of married women who get together to support each other. This is not a bitch den where they get sit around and talk bad about their husbands. No, they support each other and make sure they stay on track with their wifely duties (similarly, their husbands get together and keep each other accountable to their husbandly duties). If any woman were to badmouth her own husband in this group, the other women would call her out on it.
Every woman I described above is a white American woman. Most of them believe that a husband is the proper leader of the household. A surprising number of them would agree with a lot of what manosphere believes, even on issues of women in the workplace or women’s suffrage (I don’t want to get into either of these topics here. They’re both very complicated and require a lot more discussion).
As I stated, I’ve seen a lot of the manosphere recommend men to go abroad and find a foreign woman. Well, I’ve seen situations where that can backfire. I know a guy who met and married a girl from the Philippines. They had a kid. Well that woman one day took their son and disappeared. He’s never seen his son since, and that was over 10 years ago. And remember the David Goldman case? Marrying a Brazilian woman nearly ruined his life. By contrast, the women I described above are surrounded by a community, friends, family, and a church which will reinforce to them to stay committed to their husbands and their family.
So what about the non-white women who are devout and personally conservative their whole lives? In my experience I haven’t met them. What I have met are women who are either new to the church or returning to the church after having lived a secular life. They’re born again chaste, I guess. Let me be clear, there are plenty of white girls who fit this description too, girls who went off to college and did the typical college coed thing, maybe even graduated and lived the serial monogamous or slutty single girl lifestyle only to find that it’s sad and depressing. These girls come in all ethnicities. But the girls who make a conscious decision, the ones who know and come from American culture, who have surveyed the American cultural landscape and have affirmatively made the decision to live a chaste life throughout their life, they have all been white girls.
You see, that’s another danger. You can have someone who has lived a sheltered religious life, someone who has never been tempted. And once they get exposed to sin, they go off the deep end of sinful oblivion. A better bet is someone who has observed the wasted life that chasing pleasure leads to, someone who makes a conscious decision to be chaste from an informed standpoint.
My point is not to say that white American women are the best. My point is that they get a bad rap, but there are a lot of very good white American women out there.