Introduction

Welcome to the first post of my new blog. This is a continuation of my previous blog. I discontinued that blog for reasons I laid out here.

I’ll start with some random facts about me:

• I’m fascinated by the friendzone. I’ve watched all kinds of youtube videos and read multiple blog posts about the friendzone.  I’ve never been put in the friendzone. I don’t even understand the friendzone. From reading the manosphere and the web in general, I understand that the friendzone is a big topic of discussion and a lot of guys find themselves there, but it’s never happened to me. There must be something I’m doing, and I hope to explore this in the future.
• When I’m around an attractive woman, there seems to be almost a gravitational pull from me to her. Even when I’m trying to just be friends, things inevitably happen that lead to some romantic encounter or with me making a move and getting rejected. This happens even when I’m trying to just be friends.
• I’m not a young guy.  I’ll leave my age a mystery for now, but I’m freakishly young looking. How young looking? I was recently on a college campus for recruiting, and people thought I was one of the undergrads. If I tell people my age, they think I’m lying. If I knock 10 years off my age, they still think I’m lying. I’m not bragging or looking for validation. It just is. I’ve always been young looking and only recently has my body filled out. I’m thankful for my genetics.
• I don’t like to go out because I have better things to do. There is potential for trouble when I go out. Last time I went out I ended up in bed with a 23 year old coworker. Aside from the fact that I totally violated my own morals, I have to deal with her and stay on good terms with her or risk getting in trouble with HR, and do the least amount of damage to her as possible.
• There is a girl who I hope to marry. She is a virgin – maybe I’ll call her “MO” for “my oneitis” (to borrow a PUA term) – If I don’t marry MO, I doubt she will ever get married. I am the best she will ever do. Not that she’s not beautiful. She is one of the most in-demand girls I’ve ever met, but she’s never loved or even been strongly attracted to any man before me. It’s a long story that probably deserves its own blog post.
• btw – I’m not in love with her just because she’s a virgin. She just happens to be a virgin. Anyway, if my willpower wasn’t made of iron when I was around her, there’s no way she’d be a virgin now. For some reason with me, she was super aggressive. But if I take her virginity, it will be on our wedding night.
• Why are we not together? I fucked up. Really bad. I’m trying to fix it.
• I have taken other girls’ virginity before, something that I’m not proud of. One girl I had sex with 2 weeks before she got married. This is one of the worst things I’ve ever done in my life and it haunts to this day. No amount of confession takes away the guilt I feel
• I try to be a good Catholic in every way and as you can see, I fail. I shouldn’t be having pre-marital sex, but there’s that gravitational pull. I fight against it, oftentimes I lose that fight so then it’s off to confession for me.

That’s it for now. More to come later.